This past weekend my husband and I attended our 9-year-old’s last basketball game of the season. Soon after the game started, it became apparent that one of the opposing team members was intentionally tripping our guys. The first time I saw him throw his leg in front my kid’s foot, I thought perhaps I was just seeing things. Ten seconds later, he did it again and my son landed flat on his face. I was shocked. This league is for first time 8 and 9-year-old players and the last thing on their minds (other than keeping their hands up on defense and trying hard not to walk with the ball), is worrying about underhanded efforts by the opposing team.

The tripper was a little fellow, with a mean look about him (at 8!). And it made me wonder why. Why, every time we cheered our team for making a basket, did he whip around and stare at us with utter contempt, and maybe even a little sadness. Why did he push our team members to the ground and then “get up in their face” when they got back on their feet. What was going on here?

All of the sudden, instead of being furious, I felt a little sorry for him. Kids don’t naturally pop out of their mother’s belly looking to start a fight, or looking to win a game by any means necessary (and then snickering about it). I didn’t know this child, and I didn’t know his background, but something was going on with him…something not right. At best, someone is not teaching him to be respectful or to play fair, and at worst, he’s being treating poorly or abused, and his reaction is to fight…and to fight nasty.

Unfortunately, when this child gets older and continues his bad behavior, people won’t be so forgiving, or sympathetic, or wonder what’s going on at home. He’s going to end up getting in trouble, getting mad, and then doing something stupid.

So what’s the answer? Truthfully, I don’t know. But I do know that Cool Broads are compassionate. I can only hope that Cool Broads who are in positions of influence with children, whether they be teachers, doctors, neighbors or team moms, will identify those children who need a little extra support, and maybe a little extra compassion. I will probably never see this child again, but other women will. If we take a little responsibility for the children in our community, our society (and the child) will only benefit.

Now that’s a great premise, but here’s my problem. I am not one to butt my nose into other people’s business. Every now and then I see my neighbor’s two-year-old playing outside in 50-degree temperature without shoes. Unless I fear the child will get frostbite and lose his toes, it’s really none of my business. And every now and then I see that same child riding a motorized scooter down the street without a helmet – with his father – who’s a nurse! I told his father we had extra helmets if they needed one (they didn’t), so that was the end of my intervention.

Should I have protested further? I’m not sure. There’s a line, albeit a grey and fuzzy one, between sticking our noses where they don’t belong and really making a difference. How do we know where that line is? I guess we can only use common sense (mixed in with a little gut feeling). But even with the best intentions, every now and then, we’ll probably find ourselves crossing that line. But is crossing the line is better than wishing we had after something unfortunate has happened?

The one thing I do know, however, is that if we meet resistance after stepping over the line or dishing out unwelcome advice, Cool Broads don’t take it personally. We step back, apologize, and try harder to get it right next time.