I try to be a Cool Broad, I really do. But sometimes, I fall a little short.

Case in point: One day I was reveling in the fact that both of my children were accounted for (somewhere else), I‘d just kicked some ass in my kickboxing class, and I’d successfully paid all of my bills for the month without the bottom number in my checkbook turning red. I picked up a latte at Starbucks and decided to do a little shopping at the mall (my version of a really good day).

As I sauntered down the wide corridor, taking in the new clothes smell that I love so much, I lifted my cup to take a sip only to miss my mouth. The result – a quarter-sized spot of coffee on my white shirt, right smack dab between my boobs. Crap.

This really threw a wrench in my day. Because I only had a couple of hours before my son had to be picked up at preschool, it didn’t make sense for me to go home and change. So I was stuck, walking around the mall, holding my hand over my chest as if I was reciting the pledge of allegiance, hoping I wouldn’t run into anybody I knew. Maybe nobody would notice.

I turned the corner into J.Crew, and ran right into my favorite salesgirl. “Hi,” she said, “why are you holding your hand over your shirt?” Perceptive little cuss.

After explaining to her that I’d spilled coffee on my shirt like a complete dork AND this was my one day of the week without the kids AND I only had two hours to smell new clothes smell AND in addition to all of that, my hair was starting to frizz, she calmly took me by the hand and led me to the checkout counter where she gave me a tub of wipes. Just regular, no-name-brand, baby wipes. “These’ll take anything out.” she said. Sure enough, after blotting my shirt with the wipe, the quarter-sized spot of coffee right smack dab between my boobs was no longer there.

So now, this cool broad is never without some sort of emergency stain remover. I found these individually wrapped wipes at the grocery store and always have a few stashed in my purse for unfortunate coffee spills. They also come in handy if you have dirty kids and don’t want to carry around the larger container in your purse (though I do keep one of those in my car).

In addition to coffee, this Cool Broad drinks a lot of red wine (whatever takes the edge off, right ladies?). Tide-to-go pens are a lifesaver as they take out red wine spills…even if you miss your mouth and spill cabernet on your white cotton sweater (makes you wonder if my mouth is located where it’s supposed to be, doesn’t it?). Just keep dabbing the tip of the pen on the spill and eventually it will disappear. Wash the garment as you normally would when you get home.

Now if I can only figure out how to bottle new clothes smell!