What I meant to say was, “Cool Broads don’t let their DOGS poop in other people’s yards…at least without scooping up the poop in question.” (Because I’m pretty sure that none of you use the bathroom outside, or at least on a regular basis.)

To be honest, it amazes me that this needs to be a rule. But unfortunately, there are people out there who either aren’t respectful of others or are completely unaware that their actions have consequences…for someone.

Here’s an example: Though our city has a leash law, our neighbors let their dog, Sugar, roam the neighborhood night and day. Sometimes I see this dog a mile or so away…just a roamin’. Now, these neighbors seem like nice enough people and Sugar is, well, sweet. And their yard is the nicest one on the street – perfectly manicured and super green. It makes you wonder where they think their dog is crapping. I’ll tell you where…in MY yard.

The last time my mother visited she was lucky enough to step right smack dab into a pile of Sugar’s poop. And when my kids play football (which really means rolling around in the grass trying to tickle the ball out of the other’s hands), I have to scour the yard for landmines before they start rolling around in it.

Because we’re relatively new to the neighborhood, I’m reticent to say anything because I don’t want to be branded “the bitch that just moved in” right out of the gate. And frankly, if I do eventually say something to Sugar’s owners, I resent the fact that they’ve put me in that awkward position.

I can hear my husband say, “They probably don’t know she’s doing it.” My response to that is, “Unless your dog is trained to use the toilet, she’s going to go whenever she gets the urge. And when she spends so much time elsewhere, it’s can’t be that difficult to deduce that she’s pooping elsewhere.”

This rule isn’t just about poop…it’s about being considerate of others. The following is a short list of some of the things one must adhere to when living on a planet with more than one person. Feel free to add to it. Feel free to print it off and anonymously put it in someone’s mailbox, or on their desk at work, or under their windshield wipers should they need a little reminder about what it means to be cool.

1) Cool Broads don’t throw trash out their car window (this includes
cigarette butts);
2) Cool Broads leave a note when they accidentally scratch someone
else’s car;
3) Cool Broads don’t put their dog outside and let it bark for hours;
4) Cool Broads don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink; and
5) Cool Broads talk to their neighbors before erecting or cutting down anything on the mutual property line.

See, it ain’t so difficult. What am I missing?

~tcb

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