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10 questions Cool Broads never ask

Cool Broads don’t ask…

1.   If a woman is pregnant

    I don’t care if her water breaks and soaks your favorite shoe, don’t make any assumptions you’ll regret later…because you just NEVER know.

    Case in point: Last year on vacation, my mother and I struck up a conversation with a woman pushing a toddler in a stroller. Despite being extremely thin, the woman looked like she had either swallowed a basketball or was pregnant. Because my mother assumed that people didn’t regularly eat sporting equipment, she asked her when she was due.

    Unfortunately…she wasn’t. I was so mortified that my life flashed before my eyes.

2.   If someone has lost weight

    The reason this is potentially hurtful is because it implies that you thought they were overweight the last time you saw them.

    If she looks great, just tell her so and ask her what her secret is. If she’s proud of shedding a few pounds she’ll probably tell you.

3.   When a couple is going to get married already

    Don’t be a scab picker. One half of the couple might want to get married but the other one’s response was, “eh.” And besides, the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is personal.

4.   When a childless couple is going to have kids, or why they
     haven’t yet

    Though I’m sure most people aren’t intentionally insensitive, it sometimes happens when they leave their brain on the soapdish.

    Besides the obvious they’re unable to have children or are feverishly trying and you just threw some salt into their gaping wound aspect to this question. There’s also the it ain’t none of our business part.

    Whether or not people plan to procreate and when they plan to do it is personal.

5.   When a couple who JUST had a baby is going have another

    Jesus Christ already, give them a break. They’re probably dealing with sleep deprivation, cracked and bleeding nipples, looming questions about their adequacy as parents, and bouts of post-partum depression.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the last thing on her mind (and maybe even his) is having sex and making another one.

6.   If someone is going to a party when you’re not sure whether
     or not they’ve been invited

    If you do this…you are a cad. I can’t think of a better way to enter into an awkward conversation with someone than to bring up a party they weren’t invited to.

    If you really want to know if they’ll be there…ask them if they have any special plans that weekend or call the hostess and ask her.

7.   Whether a pregnant woman, or a woman with a newborn,
     plans to or is currently breastfeeding

    Again with the what business is it of yours? questions. What a woman does with her boobies is her business. You might as well ask her if she wears a padded bra.

8.   If a woman’s breasts are real (since we’re on the subject)

    If you notice something “different” about the way your friend looks and she looks great, just tell her she looks fabulous and ask her what her secret is. If she wants to tell you, she will.

    Read “Plastic Surgery: to tell or not to tell“.

9.   Whether someone’s twins/triplets/quadruplets are natural

    Just because fertility treatments are becoming more commonplace, that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to ask someone if they had to try really, really hard to make a baby. And what difference does it make anyway?

    Tell them their kids are cute and that they must have their hands full (because they probably do).

10.   If someone has ever thought about changing something about
      their, or their kid’s, appearance

    I’ve witnessed both of these infractions: “Have you ever thought of having your son’s ears pinned?” and “Don’t you think it’s time for your 11 year-old daughter to wax her unibrow?”

    Oy…I don’t even know what to say.

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14 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Rob O. // Jun 11, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Never ask a couple who just adopted a child how much it cost. What a terrible way to trivialize a special & life-altering experience for all involved.

    Gotta say, though, this question comes from dudes more often than broads – broads are usually far more sensible…

  • 2 thatcoolbroad // Jun 11, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Awww…it’s not often a guy admits that women are “usually far more sensible” than men!

    You’re my new best friend!


  • 3 Monkeytoemomma // Jun 11, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    While in an elevator on my way to see my new born twin girls in the NICU, a man asked me when I was due. I was mortified, but not as much as he was. He profusely apologized and then shrank in the corner probably wishing he had an invisibility cloak.

  • 4 Emily // Jun 11, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    I also hate it when people ask me if its my natural hair colour – usually its not but I am a very natural shade… But how is it their business? maybe thats just me?

    PS – I’ve tagged you for a meme!

  • 5 socalgirl // Jun 11, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    i hate questions about money, like, “how much do you make” or “how much does your husband make?” it always throws me completely off guard even if it’s from a friend or family member.

  • 6 Stacy // Jun 11, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    I feel you, monkeytoe. A nurse rushed over and asked me if I was in labor when I was out in the waiting room talking on my phone, waiting to go home with my three-day-old baby.

    People are SO nosy. I now need appropriate responses for these queestions.

  • 7 Tricia // Jun 23, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    I love this list!

  • 8 Posh Mama // Jun 25, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    Great list! I was at a party recently and a gal had lost about 50 lbs since some people had seen her. Well this one guy kept going ON and ON to her how great she LOOKED and MUST have lost a TON of weight. eeek. Honestly, it was excruciating to watch so please follow TCB’s rules and just tell someone they look great. Let them offer any details. Much love, xoxo-pm

  • 9 Sarah // Jun 26, 2008 at 10:43 am

    socialgirl – I am with you! Money questions are almost always innappropriate in my book. I’ve gotten: how much did your house cost? How are you able to afford X or Y? etc. These come from well-meaning, just clueless friends. They must not know how uncomfortable it makes someone!

  • 10 thatcoolbroad // Jun 26, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    @ socalgirl& sarah

    I totally agree with both of you. My thought on questions about money is that they can sometimes create feelings of envy, and jealousy among friends is never good.

    I had a guy friend in grad school who, for lack of a better word, was loaded. He was old money…his grandfather was Rockerfeller’s best friend or something like that. But he was totally undercover about it. He never talked about money, so you’d never have known (until we went to a dinner party at his house and it was basically a palace!) I liked his attitude, though, and he never made me feel broke, even though I was.

  • 11 SunkistMom // Jul 17, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Wow! Having gone through the stages of being in a relationship, to being engaged, to getting married, to having our first child finally and then our second, i have encountered almost all these questions!!! They are soooooo annoying! And you are right, most of them are personal and none of their business!!

  • 12 annette // Jul 17, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    all of those are great. I have to admit, I have totally and ignorantly been on the giving (and receiving) end of some of the most painful and humiliating ones. A lot of times, I should just not talk! Great blog. I found it through Leslie through fatcyclist.

  • 13 elle // Oct 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Never ask an adult how old they are. I mean, honestly. Are we on the school play ground? Among adults, it’s time to put this to rest.

    Unless you’re a doctor, calculating retirement savings, or know the person really, really well, it’s none of your business.

    I find the kind of score-keeping and judgement that seems to be behind this question petty and annoying.

  • 14 Pamela // Nov 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    I totally agree with this post. In the recent years I have observed that people are becoming more unemotional and are less empathetic. One of my husband’s friend’s wife graduated last year and found a job easily. I am about to complete my studies and am facing some challenges finding a full-time job due the slowdown in the economy.
    I have also put on a few pounds during the last two months. On my birthday, after we had cut the birthday cake, this friend’s wife followed me to the kitchen. I was finding some dishes to plate the cake and serve everyone who were in the living room. Here’s what she asked.

    my husband’s friend’s wife: Are you pregnant?
    me: (shocked)NO..Why do you ask?
    my husband’s friend’s wife: you have put on some I thought you are pregnant. Anyways, its 3 years since your marriage and it is a good idea to plan a baby if you are not finding a job and also instead of just staying at home without a job.

    I just laughed and told her that she will the first person to inform when I know that I am pregnant. But I had a good mind to dump the whole cake over her head. It was so irritating and offending thing to ask a woman on her birthday !! How is her business to plan my life..if and when I plan to have a baby? People are so nosy sometimes…. I really need to find more appropriate answers, especially when people ask how soon we plan to have a baby.

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