Cool Broads don’t ask…
1. If a woman is pregnant
I don’t care if her water breaks and soaks your favorite shoe, don’t make any assumptions you’ll regret later…because you just NEVER know.
Case in point: Last year on vacation, my mother and I struck up a conversation with a woman pushing a toddler in a stroller. Despite being extremely thin, the woman looked like she had either swallowed a basketball or was pregnant. Because my mother assumed that people didn’t regularly eat sporting equipment, she asked her when she was due.
Unfortunately…she wasn’t. I was so mortified that my life flashed before my eyes.
2. If someone has lost weight
- The reason this is potentially hurtful is because it implies that you thought they were overweight the last time you saw them.
If she looks great, just tell her so and ask her what her secret is. If she’s proud of shedding a few pounds she’ll probably tell you.
3. When a couple is going to get married already
- Don’t be a scab picker. One half of the couple might want to get married but the other one’s response was, “eh.” And besides, the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is personal.
4. When a childless couple is going to have kids, or why they
Though I’m sure most people aren’t intentionally insensitive, it sometimes happens when they leave their brain on the soapdish.
Besides the obvious they’re unable to have children or are feverishly trying and you just threw some salt into their gaping wound aspect to this question. There’s also the it ain’t none of our business part.
Whether or not people plan to procreate and when they plan to do it is personal.
5. When a couple who JUST had a baby is going have another
Jesus Christ already, give them a break. They’re probably dealing with sleep deprivation, cracked and bleeding nipples, looming questions about their adequacy as parents, and bouts of post-partum depression.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the last thing on her mind (and maybe even his) is having sex and making another one.
6. If someone is going to a party when you’re not sure whether
or not they’ve been invited
If you do this…you are a cad. I can’t think of a better way to enter into an awkward conversation with someone than to bring up a party they weren’t invited to.
If you really want to know if they’ll be there…ask them if they have any special plans that weekend or call the hostess and ask her.
7. Whether a pregnant woman, or a woman with a newborn,
plans to or is currently breastfeeding
- Again with the what business is it of yours? questions. What a woman does with her boobies is her business. You might as well ask her if she wears a padded bra.
8. If a woman’s breasts are real (since we’re on the subject)
If you notice something “different” about the way your friend looks and she looks great, just tell her she looks fabulous and ask her what her secret is. If she wants to tell you, she will.
9. Whether someone’s twins/triplets/quadruplets are natural
Just because fertility treatments are becoming more commonplace, that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to ask someone if they had to try really, really hard to make a baby. And what difference does it make anyway?
Tell them their kids are cute and that they must have their hands full (because they probably do).
10. If someone has ever thought about changing something about
their, or their kid’s, appearance
I’ve witnessed both of these infractions: “Have you ever thought of having your son’s ears pinned?” and “Don’t you think it’s time for your 11 year-old daughter to wax her unibrow?”
Oy…I don’t even know what to say.
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