Cool Broad Case Study:

You’ve recently moved to town and one of your new neighbors just invited you and your kids to the pool for the day. It’s 90 degrees outside and you’re tired of unpacking (but not as tired as your kids are of you unpacking), so you’re thrilled to receive the invitation and accept it heartily.

At the pool, after you and your neighbor slather the kids with sunscreen and set them free, you plop down on a lounge chair and exhale. Then you glance over at your neighbor, who is taking off her cover-up, and notice that’s she has A LOT of hair on her arms. Like…A LOT. You look away, but find yourself sneaking another peek just to make sure you haven’t suffered from heat stroke and are beginning to hallucinate.

No heat stroke…just lots of arm hair. Not underarm hair…regular arm hair. You think to yourself that there’s no way you’d walk around in public with that kind of hair growing on your body (unless it was on your head) and you’re curious if she’s thought about getting it waxed or lasered.

You wonder, should I say something?

Answer: No. You act like it’s not there.

Staring at someone’s imperfections (even if you think you’re doing it on the sly) is rude, and definitely not cool. It doesn’t matter if she has frizzy hair (thanks humidity), spider veins (thanks kids), or the arms of a gorilla (thanks Dad?).

More than likely, she’s self-conscious about those things and commenting on them (even if you think you’re helping) won’t make her feel better about herself. It might even make her uncomfortable or more self-conscious than she was before. Besides, if she wants your expert opinion or your help…she’ll ask for it. And if those things DON’T bother her…who are you to tell her that they should?

And what’s the big deal, anyway? You’ve probably got a few things you’d rather people not notice, right? I mean, who’s perfect?

So if one of your girlfriends has lipstick on her teeth, pull her aside and let her know. But if she shows up with a huge zit on her nose - one that she’s obviously tried to cover - let it slide.

Staring at it all night long, suggesting that she head straight for the drugstore to buy zit cream, or saying, “Wow, that pimple could have it’s own zip code”, isn’t going to make her feel better about the throbbing mass on her snout.

We’re all human. We all have imperfections. So let’s take it easy on one another by not calling them out.

~tcb

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