I recently ran across an article from Redbook Magazine called, When You Should be a Fake, which I found so right up our Cool Broad alley that I began banging my head against the table because I hadn’t written the article myself.

Although in all fairness, we’ve covered 4 of the 6 situations in which article suggests it’s okay, and even preferable, to be “fake”, so I stopped banging and instead took the opportunity to reiterate some important rules as well as add a couple of new ones to our list.

But let me be clear, Cool Broads are the most genuine women I know. However, there ARE times when faking a reaction can be the best way to handle a situation and is often times the most compassionate way to do so. It can also be a great way to put yourself, and others, at ease.

For instance, when someone gives you a gift that you absolutely hate, when asked if you like it, your reaction should NEVER be, “Well, I have to be honest, I think it’s really horrible.” You gracefully respond, “Wow, what an interesting gift. Thank you so much for the thought.” Because there’s no point in hurting someone’s feelings (and anyone who tells you differently is a wanker).

So without further adieu, here are six situations where faking it can be the kindest thing you can do.

1. Fake interest even if someone is telling you a story that’s boring.

Faking interest when your friend, or even a stranger, is telling you a story that they’re obviously fascinated by, “is an act of kindness and helps the storyteller preserve some dignity”. And who knows, you may eventually develop a sincere interest in the topic just by paying attention.

If not, you can steer the conversation in a different direction when the time’s right, but until then, don’t keep glancing at your watch or looking over her shoulder. Make eye contact and slip in a few remarks like, “That’s so interesting” or “I didn’t know that”, to reassure her that she has your undivided attention.

2. Fake getting the joke when you just don’t get it.

This isn’t a hard and fast rule for me. If everybody else is in hysterics but I have no reason why, I’d probably give a little laugh and say, “That’s so funny”, just so it didn’t seem like I was clueless (which I often am). Then I’d ask my husband/friend later what the hell that joke was about. But if they were really good friends, I’d cop to being clueless because it really isn’t that big of a deal.

3. Fake confidence when you feel anything but.

“To look confident, stand up straight and force yourself to speak louder than you think is necessary, which will help you avoid seeming timid,” says Mary Mitchell, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, studies have shown that faking confidence breeds confidence, so go ahead and pretend to be all that and before you know it, you’ll actually FEEL all that.

4. Fake recognizing someone when you can’t remember who she is (or if you’ve ever met her before).

This is Cool Broad 101 and discussed in detail in Cool Broads act like Sammy Hagar. If someone walks up to you and says, “It’s great to see you again!”, absolutely act like you recognize her and apologize that you’ve forgotten her name. You should never, EVER, tell someone that you have no idea who they are. That’s just mean. Your follow-up conversation should give you some clues as to where you’ve met her before.

5. Fake ignorance when someone starts gossiping about something you have information about.

Cool Broads don’t gossip. Period. So if someone starts to gossip to you, feign ignorance (or disinterest), and she may take the hint and stop. If she doesn’t, either try to change the subject or politely excuse yourself.

6. Fake liking a gift even if you think it’s horrid.

“As difficult as it might be, try to focus on the fact that the giver put time, money, and thought into the gift–even if it is an armadillo piggybank.” That was so well said that I didn’t have the heart to come up with my own example…I mean, how can I top an armadillo piggybank?

Seriously, though, I don’t care if your grandmother gives you a sweater with a fur collar and you’re the President of PETA (unless she did it intentionally which is quite passive-aggressive for a grandma). Be sweet, be gracious and be cool.

~tcb

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