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Raise your hand if you’re sick of Paris Hilton.
Raise your hand if you can’t get enough of Kate Winslet.
Raise your hand if you think that the next time you see another picture of Lindsay Lohan you might rip one of your fingernails off.
Raise your hand if you think that Reese Witherspoon is someone you’d enjoy having coffee with.
What’s the difference? Overexposure.
At the risk of sounding like I’m advocating that Cool Broads play hard to get, I’m advocating that Cool Broads play hard to get.
It’s not that I’m think that playing games is always the best way to make your way through life, it’s just that knowing when to say when can be extremely effective.
Inherently, cool people are somewhat elusive. They probably don’t answer their phones on the first ring, they aren’t the ones who are ALWAYS available to meet the neighbor’s kid at the bus stop because she’s running late getting her nails done, and they don’t go to EVERY part they’re invited to. They’re friendly and genuine - but they don’t overexpose themselves.
There’s a sweet woman at my gym who runs with the “in” crowd (I know…strangely enough, there’s an “in” crowd at our gym…it’s GREAT being back in high school again).
She’s always getting equipment for the other gals and going out of her way to do them favors, even when they don’t ask. I’m sure they appreciate her kindness, but it also seems to me that they expect it, and if one is going to be late to class, the sweet woman is the one delegated to setting up her weights or step and getting her mat.
I’m not begrudging this woman for her being helpful (and I’m a big fan of random acts of kindness), and if she enjoys putting forth the effort, all the better. But my advice to her would be to pull back a little. Don’t always be the one who is there to take care of everyone else.
Next time she’s asked to grab a mat for someone and she’s already traipsed over to the equipment room to get hers, she should say (jokingly), “Get your own damn mat. Ha Ha.” Let those gals know you aren’t a door….mat.
It’s fun to be the one that everyone looks forward to seeing at the next party (and disappointed if you can’t make it). It’s not so much fun if their reaction is, Oh, there’s so and so…AGAIN, and then turn to look for someone they haven’t spoken to three times already that day.
So, don’t be a snob, but don’t overexpose (especially if you decide not to wear undies with that cute, little dress and people are taking your picture as you get out of the limo…as if).
What do you think? Do you think I’m off base or are you on board?
~tcb
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10 responses so far ↓
1 Monkeytoemomma // Jul 21, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I’m totally with you! I tend to lean on the “push over” side, though. But I’m getting better at saying NO. Or in my case, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t do it this time,” and then go on to over explain and over apologize and then feel massively guilty that I can’t do whatever is asked of me. It’s a struggle.
** I CANNOT stand PH, LL or BS!!! Seriously, do we have to hear about every time the take a crap or something? And I absolutely love Kate Winslet and Reese Witherspoon! They ROCK!
2 Emily // Jul 21, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I think there is a very fine line between being helpful and being walked all over. I used to offer myself up to anyone who asked and then be devestated when they didn’t reciprocate. Now I’m far more choosey. There are some people in my life I would run and get pick up their kids or groceries or whatever whenever they ask. But only because I know that they would (and usually have) done the same for me.
I think reciprocity is more important than playing hard to get. If your kindness is reciprocated then its an exchange if its not - then you’re a doormat!
3 thatcoolbroad // Jul 21, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I think you may have hit the nail on the head, Emily. Thanks for your comment!
4 Stacy // Jul 21, 2008 at 2:42 pm
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5 Lori // Jul 21, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I have a tendency to be the doormat. I am learning (slowly) that I can say No and people won’t hate me!
6 beanball // Jul 21, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Reciprocity is key. I don’t mind watching a friend’s kids if she reciprocates the favor every now and then. Too often, I think, people have a tendency to take advantage of those who are willing to help.
7 Tricia // Jul 21, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I’m raising both my hands and waving them back and forth (in a very non-obnoxious, cool-broad kind of way, of course). I think you’re exactly on target.
8 Bee // Jul 21, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I completely agree! I don’t mean to imply that I’m one of the cool gals
but I amI just simply do my own thing and people have to let me know ahead of time when they want me to brighten their day. ;o)I would never take advantage of someone though, that speaks a lot about who you are.
9 Florencia // Jul 23, 2008 at 6:10 pm
OMG! Last night I had a dream about those hideous tights designed by Lindsey Lohan! There’s your overexposure, right there.
10 Rob O. // Jul 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I’m ready to bludgeon Miley Cyrus & her scumbag dad with a hot, greasy waffle iron!
But I can’t get enough of Renée Zellweger… And I do think Reese Witherspoon would be fun to hang out with!
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