Dear lady at the gym,

I get it…you love cats.

And you’ve got lots.

And they’re fluffy and white.

How do I know? Well, those kumquat-sized hairballs stuck to your black yoga pants EVERY TIME you come to the gym are a big giveaway.

Funny thing is…I’ve got kids. But I try not to show up for an exercise class where I’ll be in close proximity to OTHER PEOPLE with spit-up and peanut butter smeared on my clothes (well, not often anyway).

You want to know how I do it? I take a look at myself in a shiny, reflective, rectangular thing that hangs on the wall in my house. Some people call them mirrors. And you know what? That person staring back at me is me! And that person gives me an pretty good idea about how I look like before I leave the house.

It’s incredibly efficient.

But, if for some reason you’ve forgotten to check yourself out in the mirror or you’re in a rush (believe me, you wouldn’t be the first), you can always glance at one of the four walls in the exercise studio because, crazily enough, they’re lined with…you’ve got it - mirrors!

But better yet, a quick sweep with a lint roller before you leave home will take care of the hair and make it seem as if you actually care about the way you look. And, it might even keep people from wondering whether you’ve just had sex with the abominable snowman (which, to be honest, I HAVE considered).

Just a friendly, yet constructive, suggestion from someone who’s tired staring at your furry butt.

xoxo
tcb

p.s. In the interest of full disclosure…that fluffy, white ball of fur is actually a rabbit. I’m trying to make a point.

Want more? Click here to subscribe to “that cool broad”.