Ummm…it’s been a long time since I fantasized about being able to pee standing up. And when I realized (at the tender age of 4) that my brother possessed this skill and I did not, I decided that an extra appendange wasn’t going to hold me back (this was probably my first feminist epiphany…luckily, subsequent ones have been a bit more fruitful).
So, I positioned myself pants down in front of the toilet and quickly learned that the extra appendage (albeit a tiny one…sorry little brother, but when you were 2, it WAS tiny) DOES make a difference and that when a girl tries to pee standing up, she doesn’t make history, she just makes a mess.
Well, some 30 odd years have passed and I’ve since made peace with my gender-imposed disability. I’ve learned to squat like a champ for those situations where sitting can be quite unseemly (think portable toilets at the local speedway) and I’ve even chuckled in satisfaction when my parents bought a boat and made EVERYONE pee sitting down (take that little brother…what comes around goes around!).
But recently, I ran into this product, and though at first I thought it was a joke, I really don’t think it is. It’s the P-Mate, a cardboard funnel that gives women the freedom to pee standing up. Oh, and just for the record, the woman in the picture IS NOT ME!
But now that I’ve come to appreciate my feminimity, and the differences that I, as a woman, bring to the table, I’m not sure how I feel about this. Am I just an old dog that can’t learn a new trick? Is this product taking an age-old envy a bit too far? Do we really want to be able to do EVERYTHING that men can do? (Are the feminists out there going to rip me a new one??)
Maybe this product is noteworthy for the sole reason that it gives those of us who’d like to pee…um, erect…the option to do so. And kudos to those women who’ve made that possible.
Now, if only they could figure out how to get men pregnant and carry babies to term, I’d have a slew!
Anybody out there want to try this product and give us all a review…anonymously?
Until then, I’m yours (sitting down),
~tcb
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10 responses so far ↓
1 Woody // Sep 8, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I’m all for sitting but there are certain situations that I would be standing in a heartbeat -like nasty port-a-potty!!
2 Monkeytoemomma // Sep 8, 2008 at 4:35 pm
OMG, that’s a RIOT! I laughed my butt off looking at that! I’d use it - not always, but when needed. I’ve always wanted a detachable penis anyway. I just worry about the dribble. And, I would still need TP.
3 Stacy // Sep 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm
1. I can pee into urinals. It’s not very sanitary (I was a little drunk), but I can do it and I was very proud (I was a little drunk). I impressed all my friends (they were a little drunk).
2. The P-Mate is covered with a 4-leaf clover design as it is good luck to have one with you when you are in need.
Really? Someone seriously wrote that?
3. The P-Mate does NOT get all wet and soggy after use. You can easily slip it back into a pocket or bag for later disposal if you are outdoors where there is no garbage can.
I think that part is worthy of a w
t
f
4 Tricia // Sep 8, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I can think of a couple times this would have been useful, but I do think I’ll remain seated.
5 mommypie // Sep 8, 2008 at 7:05 pm
OMG I totally thought that photo was YOU! BAHAHA!
My 4yo pees in the yard every chance she gets. And the park. And friend’s yards. If this thing hadn’t already been invented, I have no doubt she would’ve come up with something.
Yeah, gotta work on that …
6 lil' bro // Sep 8, 2008 at 11:34 pm
I am so glad I’m NOT the little brother you’re referring to. Just wanted to clarify… you meant the OTHER little brother. I hope.
7 Charlene // Sep 9, 2008 at 5:00 pm
That post cracked me up! It immediately made me think of the time we were swimming and my son got out and peed in a bush. A short while later my daughter said she wanted to go to the bathroom outside (I think she was about 4). I said okay, not wanting her to think boys have special privileges girls don’t (better she finds that out when she’s a little older) and really wanting to dry her off and she squated down and pooped! My husband and I could not stop laughing.
8 lala // Sep 17, 2008 at 12:09 pm
there’s a reason why we’re NOT SUPPOSE TO pee standing up.
9 jenn // Oct 5, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Im thinking this would be a messy process.. ok if you have shorts on and your holding this thing out the leg of it, I can imagine piss getting all down your leg..and forget wearing bluejeans, I mean ya still gotta pull your pants down, to me thats the worst part rofl
10 BILLIE // Oct 22, 2008 at 3:58 am
Lala, some women can learn how to pee standing naturally. And there isn’t a reason we aren’t supposed to stand up. What are you talking about? Peeing standing up can be helpful in some instances (mountain climbing, for example)
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