Sometimes, you can tell a lot about a woman just by her reaction. For instance, I ran into one of my girlfriends at the grocery store the week between Christmas and New Years last year.

After commiserating about the fact that we were both so “over” the holidays, our conversation inevitably turned toward food.

“I feel like I’ve gained 10 lbs.” my friend confided.

“I know how you feel,” I responded. “My backside hasn’t seen the inside of the gym in over a week.”

My friend gasped and threw her hand over her mouth as if I’d just told her that I’d killed her cat.

Her response kind of made me feel like a freak, or a convicted felon, or like someone who hasn’t paid her taxes in 10 years…not like someone who chose to sit by the fire and play 19 consecutive games of Candyland with her kids instead of torturing herself on the treadmill.

And since Cool Broads are the kinds of women who make people feel good about themselves (even if it’s just by saying, “I hear you”) and not badly about themselves (i.e., “it’s TERRIBLE that you’re so utterly sedentary”), controlling knee-jerk reactions is definitely something Cool Broads need to be able to do.

Here’s another example of a should-have-been-better reaction:

Years ago, I watched an episode of Good Morning America with Cindy Crawford as a recurring guest and resident fashion/beauty/new mom expert. The host of the show read the former supermodel a few e-mail questions from viewers and Cindy, in turn, attempted to impart her expertise in fashion and beauty and new motherhood to help solve a particular problem.

One new mom asked Cindy if she had any advice or suggestions with regard to camouflaging or softening stretch marks the woman had developed on her breasts from breastfeeding her child.

“Ew…I’ve never heard of anyone getting stretch marks on their breasts.” Cindy remarked.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, when pressed for advice the model might have for the new mother, Cindy suggested that the woman wear turtlenecks. And she wasn’t joking.

Years later, I still recall her completely inept response with disbelief. First of all, Cool Broads never Ew somebody when they share a body issue that they’re self-conscious about.

Secondly, stretch marks on any part of your body that gets really big and then small again IS NOT unusual.

And finally, Hello?? Ms. former-runway-model. I KNOW you’ve heard of body make-up. A little cover-up and a daily application of shea or coca butter can help soften and hide those pesky little marks (which will fade with time). It ain’t rocket-science.

I don’t think Cindy’s recurring guest spot on that show lasted very long…probably because she either a) didn’t have the breadth of knowledge necessary to offer women anything really useful, or b) didn’t have the right bedside manner (for lack of a better word) to listen to a woman’s concerns or insecurities and be able to put the woman at ease or at the very least, make her feel like she isn’t a freak (also known as empathy).

In my opinion, empathy is one of the most wonderful qualities to possess, because if everyone could put themselves in other people’s shoes, we’d probably have far fewer problems in this world, don’t you think?

And if you have someone in your life that has that quality…hang onto her, those kinds of friends are more valuable than gold (or platinum if you happen to think that platinum is more valuable than gold).

~tcb

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