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I’ve heard about liberals and conservatives who are the best of friends (don’t forget about the bizarre political partnership known as the marriage between James Carville and Mary Matalin), but I don’t know for the life of me how they do it.
My political ideologies are a deeply and strongly held set of beliefs and values. I’m not partisan for the sake of being partisan; it’s just that I truly believe that I’m right.
Early on, my political convictions were no doubt shaped by my family and their experiences and beliefs. But as I’ve gotten older, my opinions have been influenced by my education, my life experiences, and my relationships with others…so they’re very personal and very much a part of me.
And those convictions DO influence my opinions of others.
That’s why politics is on my list of things to avoid talking about at a cocktail party. I just want to have a little fun…but if I find out you’re an imbecile…it’s a big, fat downer.
But being in a relationship with someone is a lot different than boozy chitchat at the neighborhood watering hole. Don’t get me wrong, I HAVE friends who support candidates other than my own…but if I’m completely honest with myself, I’d have to admit that they’re not the BEST of friends. It’s almost as if there’s some imaginary line in the sand that I can’t, or don’t, let them cross.
Do my political convictions define so much that I can’t be close with people on the other end of the political spectrum? Maybe. But maybe it has more to do with politicians and their spin-doctors than my inability to see past someone’s politics. Because really, it’s the attack dogs for hire and disingenuous politicians who ultimately create the divisive and ugly environment that we currently find ourselves in. And when the environment becomes toxic, it ceases being about what’s best for the country and its citizens and more about who’s going to “win” the game.
Both sides have used arguably questionable and in some cases downright dishonest and deceitful tactics in an effort to ensure victory for their candidate. And you’re probably more inclined to believe that the other “team” is more guilty of this than yours. As a result, it would seem to reason that people who buy into the partisan propaganda are either guilty by association or just plain stupid for believing it…right? And that’s where I think the problem may originate. What do you think?
So, that’s my deep thought for the…month. I can’t be doing much more of this or I’ll hurt myself.
Do you have any strong friendships that cross the aisle?
~tcb
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11 responses so far ↓
1 Democrat On Best Political Blogs » Blog Archive » Can you REALLY be friends with someone who doesn’t share your political views? // Oct 29, 2008 at 11:27 pm
[…] Can you REALLY be friends with someone who doesn’t share your political views? I’ve read about liberals and conservatives who are the best of friends (don’t forget about the bizarre political partnership known as the marriage between James Carville and Mary Matalin), but I don’t know for the life of me how they do it. For me, my political ideologies are a deeply and strongly held set of beliefs and values. I’m not partisan for the sake of being partisan; it’s just that I truly believe that I’m right. Early on, my political convictions were no doubt shaped somewhat b […]
2 Can you REALLY be friends with someone who doesn’t share your political views? at Republican On Best Political Blogs // Oct 29, 2008 at 11:32 pm
[…] Can you REALLY be friends with someone who doesn’t share your political views? I’ve read about liberals and conservatives who are the best of friends (don’t forget about the bizarre political partnership known as the marriage of James Carville and Mary Matalin), but I don’t know for the life of me how they do it. For me, my political ideologies are a deeply and strongly held set of beliefs and values. I’m not partisan for the sake of being partisan; it’s just that I truly believe that I’m right. Early on, my political convictions were no doubt shaped somewhat by my […]
3 Woody // Oct 30, 2008 at 9:41 am
I think it would be hard to have a relationship with someone on the opposite end of the spectrum. Not because of politics but the fact that your basic beliefs shape (or should shape) your political views. Thus, wouldn’t it be hard to find anything in common?
4 Monkeytoemomma // Oct 30, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I make it a point to never, ever talk politics with people I like. My brother and I are of different political affiliation. We started a conversation that was innocuous at first, but turned into a knock out, throw down fight over the telephone (which I think is worse). We didn’t speak for MONTHS. It’s still a sore spot with us that we both try to avoid. I was hurt because he would not let me have my own opinion. Everything I thought or said was wrong in his eyes. I found myself defending my beliefs - things that I hold near and dear. Personal things. Who am I to do that to someone else? Sure, I think they are morons for thinking what they think, but do I begrudge them the right to have those opinions - no.
Can I be friends with someone who doesn’t share my political views? Yes. Just as I have friends of different religious views. I just avoid talking about it so that I an continue liking them.
Monkeytoemommas last blog post..Devil Train
5 pinkglitter // Oct 30, 2008 at 9:39 pm
I’ve read your blog forever, and I’m pretty disappointed. Why not talk about it? That’s how people learn and grow. I have changed my opinions about something after learning a facet of whatever subject that made me think about it in a different way. This is the most narrow minded, judgemental, NOT cool broad thing I have ever read on this site. If you substituted religion, or race, or something similar for the subject of this post, you would be called a bigot, and rightfully so. You’re honestly saying you would dismiss someone you just met and have no idea about as an imbecile just because they’re a different political party? My fiance and I are complete opposites in every way, including political views. I am extremely opinionated, but what makes it work is that I actually respect other people’s right to have an opinion they feel just as strongly about. Damn near everything you post is about respect, and then you pop off with this? Since when does a difference of opinion, even a difference on your fundamental views of life, make someone an imbecile or a moron? You should be ashamed of posting something so small-minded and shrill.
6 thatcoolbroad // Oct 30, 2008 at 11:35 pm
@pinkglitter
Thanks for your comment…I appreciate your thoughts and respect your opinion. However, after thinking about it (and I did, after all, it’s not every day I’m called a bigot), I’m going to have to disagree with you. You’re right about this, though…one of the most important qualities ALL Cool Broads must have is a sincere respect for others. And I always treat people with respect and respect their right to an opinion, whether or not I agree with them (and have never indicated otherwise).
But, whether I respect the way they form or rationalize their positions, is a totally different matter. I don’t understand how that can offend you so.
Maybe it was my use of the word “imbecile” that threw you…and honestly that statement was meant to be delivered tongue-in-cheek (I have a pretty good sense of humor…didn’t you pick THAT up as you read my blog?)
But I stand by my statement. If I feel like someone isn’t forming an original thought or opinion, and is just repeating political rhetoric like a parrot…that person most definitely IS an imbecile. And that goes for people on BOTH sides of the aisle. But to be honest, most (not all, but most) of my political discussions with people on the other end of the political spectrum seem to fall within that category. And I don’t enjoy spending time with people like that.
So call me what you will…I’m just being honest. My opinions of others are influenced by their beliefs and how they form those beliefs. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Even so, I love hearing different perspectives from my readers…so thanks for sharing yours.
7 Megan G // Oct 31, 2008 at 9:18 am
I love the two cool broads in the picture, I’m usually topless when I discuss political issues, too. LoL!
8 Monkeytoemomma // Oct 31, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I think a cool broad is someone who can be honest with herself and with the world, and be bold enough to stand by her convictions.
Monkeytoemommas last blog post..A Little Of Me
9 Junebug // Oct 31, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I think it boils down to how strong your convictions are. We’re not talking about stances on issues…but deep rooted values.
So…no. I don’t believe relationships are setup for success if two people have completely opposite value sets and have deep convictions to these values. My bet would be that those relationships would fail.
(And let me be clear…I’m talking about relationships and not relations.)
10 Stacy // Nov 1, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Our closest couple friends are very Republican, know we are strongly not, and like to talk about their beliefs loudly. I have to bite my lip very hard, but for the sake of friendship I do it.
And then I let it out anonymously on my blog.
Stacys last blog post.."K!! COH-MMAH!! K!! COH-MMAH!!"
11 ensm21 // Nov 1, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I think you can. My mom and dad are on the opposite side of the spectrum (mom’s a democrat, dad’s a republican) and they get along wonderfully.
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