Me: “My sister just got engaged.”

Friend: “That’s great! What does her ring look like?”

Me: “It’s actually a lot like mine…just a plain round diamond in a gold setting.”

Friend: “That’s interesting. It seems like everyone is getting their rings set in platinum these days.”

Me: “It does, doesn’t it. Back when I got engaged, nobody got platinum rings. It’s funny how styles change.”

Friend: “Well, platinum IS better. I mean, platinum credit cards are better than the gold ones.”

No shit. That was an actual conversation I had with one of my best friends. Now, I love my friend dearly and she certainly wasn’t try to hurt my feelings, but she needs to learn one of the most important rules if she wants to be a cool broad: Think before you speak.

It’s been my experience that uncool broads tend to open their mouths without thinking about how they might make others feel. It’s basically a lack of empathy, and if there’s one thing I hope I teach my children before I die, it’s to be empathetic. I don’t care if they forget to wear deodorant (though that would be unfortunate), if they grow to be perceptive and sensitive adults…I will die a happy woman.

People without empathy are the ones who let their dogs poop in your yard and don’t scoop it up, love to talk about how “gifted and talented” their child is even though they know yours is struggling with a reading disability, and leave their coffee-stained mug in the sink at work every day for someone else to wash. It’s almost as if they don’t understand that their actions impact others. It’s very weird (and very uncool).

Another recent example of someone who opened her mouth and sounded like an uncool broad is Christina Aguilera. In the January issue of Marie Claire, Aguilera said she learned she was pregnant while on her recent “Back to Basics” tour. “We were planning on starting to try after the tour. And so, I had gone off the Pill to prepare my body, because I didn’t know how much time it would take. We heard it takes some time — except with Power Egg and Super Sperm here,” she says. “… I’m like, Oh my God, can you believe it just happened?’”

Now, how many people do you know that have a hard time getting pregnant? It seems like a lot, doesn’t it? But to hear this young, unsympathetic woman spew about how fertile she and her husband are, it seems as if she has no idea that this may make some people reading her interview feel badly. A better response from her would have been, “My husband and I were so blessed, and a bit surprised, to be able to get pregnant so quickly.” Much better, isn’t it. (By the way, who thought those Marie Antoinette-type photos of her and the baby in People magazine were a bit much?)

Christina Aguilera may just be a piece of work, and I may just be on the sensitive side, but there’s nothing wrong with taking stock of how your actions (and words) affect others. I mean, how amazing would this world be if everyone took THAT into consideration.

Empathy is what makes That Cool Broad the woman that people love to spend time with, because she makes you feel good every time you’re around her.

~tcb

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