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At a recent neighborhood meeting, several people expressed frustration at having to scoop up poop, especially since they don’t own a dog, and wanted to see if there was anything that could be done about getting dog-walkers to clean up after their pets.
Well, since my neighbors don’t know that I author a blog, I couldn’t refer them the Cool Broads don’t poop in other people’s yards rule. So instead, I mentioned that I had, in fact, spoken to one repeat offender about cleaning up after her dogs and even gave her a bag to do so when she was “caught off guard” one day as her dogs pooped on my tulips.
“Yeah”, my neighbor said, “she never walks with a bag…but she’s really nice.”
I found that statement odd, so I asked her, “How can you call someone who doesn’t respect your property ‘really nice’?”
“Well,” she said, “I guess it just doesn’t really bother me.”
“It bothers me,” her husband barked (no doggie pun intended).
“Do you think it’ll bother you when your 3 year-old steps in a pile of dog poop and tracks it in your house?” I asked.
“Maybe, but I think it’s more important to maintain a friendly relationship with your neighbors than to risk offending someone and possibly create an awkward situation.”
I was aghast. I immediately wanted to tell this women that there was a word for people like her…doormat. She’s a doormat because that’s what you call someone who let’s people walk all over her and doesn’t stick up for herself. In fact, even Oprah has a checklist of ten things that so-called “doormats” do, and number 1 on the list is: I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone.
But my if-you-say-that-you-may-hurt-her-feelings filter kept me from uttering the word “doormat” and I’m proud of myself for showing restraint (especially since wine was being consumed).
This women was sweet and I didn’t want to offend her, but honestly, I consider her to be as much a part of a problem as the person who feels like it’s okay to let their dogs crap in your front yard. She’s an enabler, and her inaction validates the viewpoint that so many people hold today, that showing respect for other people’s property isn’t very important.
So, if you see someone peeling open a candy bar and throwing the wrapper on the ground, or hitting another car in the parking lot and shrugging it off without stopping, or your boyfriend slugs you because you forgot to pick up his dry cleaning, and you say nothing, it’s my opinion that you are just as guilty.
I know that may seem a bit harsh, but unless we all sprout a nice set of balls and step up to the plate, we’ll have no one else to blame but ourselves when people don’t treat us, other people, our community, and our environment, with respect.
~tcb
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9 responses so far ↓
1 Lisa // Dec 1, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Amen, sistah. As someone who spends way too much time picking up other people’s trash (in the neighborhood, on the beach, argh!), I totally agree that the wayward pooper in the story above felt entirely validated by your “nice” neighbor by looking the other way.
I think the problem is that a lot of people don’t know that there is middle ground between doormat and terminator. You can be very nice while explaining that we’d really rather not have carnivore poo in our tulips - or anywhere else for that matter.
Lisas last blog post..Crossing the Ma’am Line
2 thatcoolbroad // Dec 1, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Lisa,
you’re totally right…there IS a civilized way to approach someone who is offending your poo poo sensibilities. At this particular neighborhood meeting, it was actually revealed that my next door neighbor took a bag of dog poop over to one of my other neighbors and said, “I think this belongs to you.” Probably not the best way to address the situation (unless it had been addressed several times without remedy…then, I guess, maybe it’s ok to return something that someone inadvertently left on your front lawn:) Eeesh. Or maybe not?
thatcoolbroads last blog post..Lay off Angelina Jolie…her boobies, her business.
3 Who's Your Audience // Dec 1, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Wait a minute..she said that she didn’t want to offend someone and create an awkward situation. But isn’t that what the neighbor who didn’t clean up the poop did? I like the idea of handing someone a bag and asking them to clean up the offending poo. But what if they hand you the poo-filled bag to throw away? Oh the dilemmas of neighborhood living. It’s called respect…R-E-S-P-E-C-T and apparently your nice neighbor lady doesn’t have any for herself.
4 Tricia // Dec 2, 2008 at 7:37 am
I love this post. Although I don’t lie about my feelings if asked, I am guilty of avoiding topics if the truth might upset someone. It’s something that I need to work on. Thanks for the reminder.
5 Frankie // Dec 2, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Such a good post.. while I like to think I have the nerve to stand up for myself even if it creates and awkward situation, I am guilty of it too. I have problems with people cutting through our yard.. the people who live directly behind us came and introduced themselves to us and asked if we would mind if they cut through on occasion. We said we didn’t mind, thinking we know who they are and they did ask. But, it seems everyone from their neighborhood cuts through our yard. It really bothers us to see strange men walking through. I tried to put my Mom up to asking them to stop when she visited last summer, but she just ended up making friends with the trespassers. I will have to grow my own set of balls and tell them myself. It helps to think you are doing more harm than good by allowing people to not respect your property.
6 Woody // Dec 4, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I truly don’t understand how people can NOT clean up after their pets!!
Woodys last blog post..Another New Outlook
7 Stacy // Dec 6, 2008 at 10:12 pm
TAG, hookah!
PS - I was very snottily informed once on what a hookah actually was. And that really has no relevance to the subject, except for me to say YES I KNOW I JUST CALLED HER A FRUIT BONG.
Stacys last blog post..Kristen on Christmas Trees, MURPH, and Her Mama
8 Solo // Dec 9, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I’m glad this issue is being addressed. It seems that not only in matters of peeps cleaning up after their pets, but in many situations, the ability to stand on principle is just GONE in our current society. You catch all kinds of unfair labels if you’d rather “fight” than switch. I hate the current “go along to get along” mentality. It’s so WEAK.
9 MarliTharn // May 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Oh, my. I read Oprah’s checklist and… let’s just say that I am clearly a doormat, rather than a cool broad.
I guess I already knew that, though.
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