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A little about me…

meI grew up in Georgia as the eldest of four kids and spent most of my childhood diving for pennies my Dad threw in the pool, picking ticks out of my dogs ears and bossing my younger sibs. When I was finally emancipated from high school, I headed to Virginia where I learned how to drink beer and wait tables while squeaking out a business degree from the College of William and Mary.  

Since graduating from college I’ve…

  • lived in a brothel.  (In Virginia, when more than four unrelated women inhabit the same home, it’s considered a brothel.  I’m not sure what it’s called when on any given night, you would typically find four unrelated men inhabiting the beds of the four, aforementioned, unrelated women, but it can’t be much worse than a brothel…can it?)
  • mastered the skill of windexing my boss’s freakishly greasy fingerprints off his glass desktop in a Washington, D.C. ad agency.
  • bumped into Ted Kennedy in a Capitol Hill office building (he’s much smaller in person).
  • worked for some incredibly stupid men and some incredibly uncool broads. (“Just because you’re perched high atop a shaky stepladder filing committee briefs doesn’t mean that I should have to answer the phone.”)

wedding

  • married my college sweetheart (one of the above mentioned, unrelated men), sold all of our belongings (except for really important stuff like 14 place settings of china…wtf?) and ran away to Oregon.
  • learned to wear Birkenstocks, eat veggie burgers, make peace with leaky basements and love really good sushi (you know it’s the best when you wake up the next morning and the bed’s spinning).
  • got what I would later refer to as the best excuse to put off childbearing:  two hyperactive, yet oh-so-loveable, red dogs.
  • earned my MBA and graduated first in my class (which so far hasn’t gotten me anything that cool).
  • launched a business, ran a business and sold a business (well, that was pretty cool).

meandhuge

  • had a baby (note to those who haven’t done this yet…if you can get through those first 3 post-partum months, you’ll be just fine).
  • moved to Georgia, Kentucky, Pennsylvania (where I had another baby and became a Steelers fan) and finally, back to Virginia.
  • got a MacBook for Christmas and started a blog.

A few of my strengths:

  1. I have childbearing hips (I accidentally delivered my second child by sneezing).
  2. I never forget a face (unless it’s a terribly plain or nondescript one).
  3. I can flirt with the best of ‘em.
  4. Pulling grass my dog has eaten out of her ass doesn’t really bother me.
  5. I have a really strong sense of smell (I can tell if someone farted – even if they’re upstairs and I’m downstairs).

A few of my weaknesses: 

  1. I use way too many paper towels.
  2. I’m addicted to lip gloss.
  3. Sometimes I don’t like the sound of my husband breathing (only at night, though).
  4. Taking showers bores me (it’s kinda like making your bed – I mean, you’re just going to mess it up again).
  5. I have a really strong sense of smell (I can tell if someone farted – even if they’re upstairs and I’m downstairs).theboys

That’s about it…my adult life in a nutshell.  Not sure how I feel about it now that I’ve seen it in print.

But these guys are pretty cute, eh?:)