You know what’s really weird? This is the second post in a row in which I’ve mentioned Madonna, and yet it’s only the second time I’ve mentioned Madonna on this blog EVER! So before you newcomers draw the conclusion that I’m either her biggest fan or her most ardent stalker, please read on.

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I dare you to tell Madonna she’s too old to wear mini-skirts!

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“I feel like I’ve gained 10 lbs.” my friend confided.

“I know how you feel,” I responded, “my backside hasn’t seen the inside of the gym for over a week.”

My friend gasped and threw her hand over her mouth as if I’d just told her that I’d killed her cat.

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Well, I can see someone was hungry! Waitors who make this kind of comment should be taken out back and pelted with eggs. Pointing out the fact that someone cleaned their plate will get you nothing but a tiny, little tip.

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Isn’t it amazing how a beautiful child can stop us in your tracks? Last spring, I volunteered at my son’s school and while I was surrounded by twenty-five 3rd graders, my eyes were drawn to one gorgeous 8-year-old girl. Admittedly, my eyes weren’t drawn to the awkward little girl with tangled hair and glasses. No, they were drawn to her tall, slender friend with great coloring and perfect bone structure. What’s up with that?

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